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anyone wanna fight? i'm a pussy and you would definitely win

the car was not engaged in the sexual act, it was just part of the set

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just saw an incredibly well animatedc furry porn gif that prominently featured a detailed mk1 vw golf. why are they like this

sir come quickly!

what is it

new searchs just came through *ticker tape machine clacking rapidly* it seems he's just image searching "dog throwin up" over and over

... private we're really in the Shit now

focus really hard, like a scalpel removing a cyst, to render military recruiters no longer existing in your area

if college were free, people would say things like Dark Academia a lot less

youtube keeps trying to get me to pay to watch the movie where mccauley culkin plays michael alig (not a bit, this exists)

i briefly forgot Rosie O'Donnell's name and had to ask Akinator to remind me

we've all seen "Kittens!: Inspired by Kittens" yes?

caff and oxytocin withdrawals hitting at the same time

Joe boosted

i'm going to impregnat the boston dynamics robot "atlas." our child will have a fleshy exterior and a fiberglass/metal skeleton and will be able to go up and down stairs.

Joe boosted

the piss isn't really for a drug test, it's actually because the Waltons have a big swimming pool that they need to replenish regularly

Joe boosted

Uh I just got DMed by the COO of Tumblr asking about hiring contractors to make us fully #indieweb compliant, and possibly even #fediverse integration. Anyone out there looking for work? world based on Adam Sandler Click

i've notcied girls are like "i'm patrick bateman but a girl"

while i'm patrick bateman but intellectually disabled and nice and i don't kill people and ugly

the rollercoaster of intellectual self-regard of losing an important document in my trashpile dwelling immediately after running a successful scam

nate silver can suhuhyuck me clean!

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masto instance for the tildeverse