I finally finished reading Permanent Record. It's an important read so I've uploaded an ePub to my site as well as an exported PDF.
Unless I receive a DMCA takedown notice, they'll stay there.
I'll eventually write something about it but I have a lot of notes and quotes to go through first.
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Well, sorry, this thread escalated a bit.
And by "feeling wrong" I mean that I basically feel like a failure, not fitting anywhere, not going anywhere.
Being a perfectionist without really excelling in anything is tough.
Especially when you already feel sad 99% of the time.
Also, I feel like I can't get anything right lately and me projecting my insecurities on everyone and in any situation is feeding a vicious cycle where I keep feeling more and more like I am wrong.
I feel like I should channel this anger/sadness/anxiety and do something with it (exercise? Paint?) but I am too tired for that, and I know that getting mediocre results would make things worse.
I wasn't programmed for doing things just because they are pleasant even if the result isn't perfect.
Haven't checked in the past few days.
I am having a bit of a shite day.
Trying to keep myself above the surface but I feel like I am being dragged down.
It's life, I guess.
I should probably look a bit more at what I have that I am taking for granted and focus less on what I wish I had but keeps dissolving when I think I have it in my hands.
It's just kind of hard to put that in practice when I am feeling so emotional.