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(at the weed store) im looking for a strain that will kill me instantly, what do you recommend

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replacing the word "gender" with "lobster" works in every situation

cis person finding out there are more than 2 lobsters and getting really worried about it

"oh no! just how many lobsters are there?!"

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May we all soon go about as our real selves and take joy in it, saying, yes, yes, to whatever we are.' — Carol Emshwiller

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Communication is health; communication is truth; communication is happiness. To share is our duty. - Virginia Woolf

I also love how the headlines always refer to the body of commenters in these threads as “the internet”

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I see Newsweek is still publishing recaps of r/AmITheAsshole stories as news

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Look away from your screen for a bit. Allow your eyes and mind to rest.

I took back a sweater and got myself a new sherpa-lined flannel robe from L. L. Bean for the holidays, and you guys it’s just completely dumb how cozy and comfortable it is. I never want to take it off!

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There is no time for despair, no place for self-pity, no need for silence, no room for fear. We speak, we write, we do language. That is how civilizations heal. - Toni Morrison

maybe one silver lining of the pandemic is we all live in George Costanza’s sweatpants dream world now. Assuming he still wants to drape himself in velvet, I bet even that would be socially acceptable nowadays

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Have you stretched recently? Do it now. It will help.

“Spending lots of money is often an admission of lack of research, preparation and imagination. … We must be more careful about this sort of thing in future. How much more satisfying to make clever, original (cheap) choices.” – Brian Eno

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There is no normal life that is free of pain. It's the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth. ~ Mr. Rogers

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Looks like someone’s got a case of the cyber mondays.

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The Internet treats nuance as damage and routes around it

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Never walk away in the middle of writing a helm chart. Start what you finish, you'll never figure out where you left off.

I don’t think a billionaire talking about moving humanity to other planets is wrong exactly — just lacking in imagination and ambition. At this point I think we should all be looking for ways to get ourselves to another *timeline*

“That’s my secret, Cap. I’m always stressed out”

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tilde.zone

masto instance for the tildeverse